God will use your your "whatever past" to help someone's present and future.
When trying to get back to the place where you were in the things of God, go back to the disciplines, music, and friends which you had before to begin that path homeward.
Sex is a mystery. We will not understand the power of the whole thing until we get to heaven and it is revealed to us. That is why God said to abstain from it until you are married. There is something so powerful and so sacred about it that God said save it for His most holiest institution.
Children are what they learned. Children no matter what age usually live out the things they visually saw and see from their parents whether good or bad. You have to learn from this lesson in order to change your tomorrow.
God doesn't desire to change your personality. God desires to change your character. God made your personality for His glory and God will conform your character to His characteristics.
You are the hardest person for you to see. That is why we don't take a lot of time studying ourselves in the mirror. We don't like what we see. Other don't like what they see and that is why they don't like you. Take time to look at yourself. That is why the Bible said, "Examine yourself."