Wednesday, January 02, 2008

"How To Win Friends. . . "

In the last several days, I have been slowly digesting "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.  The following notes were made by my friend, Judy, of the highlighted parts of her husband, Jim's, book.  It is simply written and good for those who want to invest in people.  

Thanks Judy and everyone enjoy:

Chapter 1:
p. 5 "Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment."
p. 6 "The resentment that criticism engenders can demoralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned."

Judging OthersDo not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? The Holy Bible: Matthew 7:1-3 (New International Version)
p. 14 "When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain--and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. A great man shows his greatness," said Carlyle, "by the way he treats little men."

Chapter 2:

p. 18 "The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what you want."

p. 19 (What do we want?) "It is what Freud calls "the desire to be great." It is what Dewey calls the "desire to be important." William James said, "The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

p. 21 "If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance. I'll tell you what you are."

p. 25 "I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people," said Charles Schwab, "the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person than criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise. I have yet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism."

p. 29 "In the long run, flattery will do you more harm than good. Flattery is counterfeit, and like counterfeit money, it will eventually get you into trouble if you pass it to someone else. What is the difference between appreciation and flattery? One is sincere and the other is insincere."

p. 30 "One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation."

Chapter 3:

p. 33 "So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it."

p. 34 Harry A. Overstreet in his illuminating book, Influencing Human Behavior said: "Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire...and the best piece of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way."

p. 37 Henry Ford said, "If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own."

Become genuinely interested in other people!